Day 9: Is God Real?

God has been opening my heart and my mind. I have been able to share my testimony and share the Gospel in times that I almost convinced myself not to do so!

Day 7: Things Have Just Begun

So, I really hope that as things get tougher with ministry that I can get stronger! Joshua 1:9

Day 4: God Loves Me?!

Day 2: Different Mindset

Video from Day 1:

Day 2 has passed and I am exhausted but in a good way! Every morning we have prayed and dived deep into the Word. I am grasping scriptures that I have read tons of times. I am truly understanding what God is trying to say.

After bible study we went and got bikes. Which is so much better than walking everywhere! Like my teammate Bethany said, “it is so surreal biking in Belgium”! I named my bike “Zee” because it is black and white like a Zebra.

My practices have been good as well. Jesus is truly my focus. In the past, I practiced in a way that was motivated around winning. If I practiced hard then I would win big. But it wasn’t satisfying because I didn’t win all the time so practices became desperation sessions which only lead to injury. But, now I only have one motivation, which is Christ. I am practicing with such freedom knowing that God just wants my best and He will do the rest. I can’t wait to compete on Saturday !

I am really enjoying myself here in Leuven. This trip has opened my eyes up to what God sees when He looks at His creation. When I was in the world, nothing of the world really bothered me. Nothing that God hated was anything that I hated. I only hated not getting my way or have to wait for something. I was self-righteous. I was a great example of entitlement.

But, I thank God for His grace and mercy. I thank Him for delivering me. So, as a new creation, with new eyes, I see things differently. And I have become extremely burdened for the lost. If only people knew how much love God has for them and what He did on there behalf. The saddest thing I have seen since I’ve been here was when I was walking back to my hostel from practice. In a small little park sat about 5 or 6 kids, who didn’t look any older than 13. They were smoking weed through a coke bottle. It broke my heart because I have a little brother their age. They were kids who have become deeply indulged in the world. At 13! It is unreal but Satan doesn’t tempt us with anything that we don’t like. That is why it is so IMPORTANT to be covered by the Blood of Christ so that we hate what Christ, our Father hates. And, so we can live a much more fulfilling life. Live a life that He has planned out for us! Seeing those kids has made this mission trip so much more serious for me (not saying that it wasn’t before) because there are so many that are lost and in need of the Truth!

I pray that during this trip I can be bold for Christ.

Until then Stay Crazyy Blessed!

Day 12- So Uncertain

I think it was 5th grade when my teachers really pushed the “what do you want to be when you grow up” idea.

We learned how to write checks, how to balance checkbooks, how to write resumes and what to wear on interviews. I knew I was going to be basketball player, sports therapist or a judge like my mom. But at 21 years old, I rarely do any of those things I was taught so long ago and I currently have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I want to do with my life.

This 25 day thing has left me with a lot time to think. Almost too much time. Things that I have pushed back to the farthest parts of my brain have been awaken. I have been forced to make decisions that I always assumed that my parents would make for me.

I always proclaim that I am a free spirit but I actually feed off of my parents making the majority of my decisions.

I guess I can say that that has prevented me from growing up fully. Growing up in my faith, my academic life, my monetary life. My parents have always been the puppet masters to this Madison show. They have always been so supportive and picked up where I have left off.

My mom and I recently had a conversation about law school.

She said, Madison if law school is not something you REALLY want to do then don’t do it because it will probably be one of the hardest things you will do in your life.

That conversation was definitely an eye opener because for so long I have willingly held myself captive by my parents SUGGESTIONS when it is clear that the bottom line is I simply don’t know what I want to do with my life. It is like I want someone to make the decision for me so if it doesn’t work out I am not the blame. I know, pathetic!

So I am approaching the end of undergrad and it is time for me to make some BIG GIRL decisions. This is my life and no one else’s. And I need to stop being afraid to live it.

If I can get hit by a car while skateboarding or jump off a 50 foot cliff into freezing water and live to tell about it then I think I can manage deciding a career path.

Until then Stay Crazyy Blessed!

Day 6 – Unrealistic

So Day 6 is making me realize that I am being a little unrealistic. Is it really realistic to really change a lifestyle ? Am I capable of stopping the behavior of hanging out with certain friends in order to become a better me?

Day 6 is not very convincing because I am starting to feel that I am fine just the way that I am. Is this 25 days really necessary?

I might just need my immediate family to convince me otherwise. Maybe I just need a vacation. A release from it all.

Until then Stay Crazyy Blessed……