I think it was 5th grade when my teachers really pushed the “what do you want to be when you grow up” idea.
We learned how to write checks, how to balance checkbooks, how to write resumes and what to wear on interviews. I knew I was going to be basketball player, sports therapist or a judge like my mom. But at 21 years old, I rarely do any of those things I was taught so long ago and I currently have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I want to do with my life.
This 25 day thing has left me with a lot time to think. Almost too much time. Things that I have pushed back to the farthest parts of my brain have been awaken. I have been forced to make decisions that I always assumed that my parents would make for me.
I always proclaim that I am a free spirit but I actually feed off of my parents making the majority of my decisions.
I guess I can say that that has prevented me from growing up fully. Growing up in my faith, my academic life, my monetary life. My parents have always been the puppet masters to this Madison show. They have always been so supportive and picked up where I have left off.
My mom and I recently had a conversation about law school.
She said, Madison if law school is not something you REALLY want to do then don’t do it because it will probably be one of the hardest things you will do in your life.
That conversation was definitely an eye opener because for so long I have willingly held myself captive by my parents SUGGESTIONS when it is clear that the bottom line is I simply don’t know what I want to do with my life. It is like I want someone to make the decision for me so if it doesn’t work out I am not the blame. I know, pathetic!
So I am approaching the end of undergrad and it is time for me to make some BIG GIRL decisions. This is my life and no one else’s. And I need to stop being afraid to live it.
If I can get hit by a car while skateboarding or jump off a 50 foot cliff into freezing water and live to tell about it then I think I can manage deciding a career path.
Until then Stay Crazyy Blessed!
crazyyblessed 